While I understand the purpose of NC, I can't see how it is appropriate when there's a child in between two people. My XAH was and is the king of manipulative conversation. At first, my only protective mechanism was to flat out ignore and not respond. Work well for me... Not for the kids.
What has worked for me is cutting off a verbal conversation as soon as it veers off from the kids. A polite -" okay! Looks like we have the kid stuff straightened out! Gotta go" and the chat is ended. The emails are easy because I only respond to stuff that's kid related. We had done folders in each kids backpacks (similar to what the school does for bringing papers home/back). I thought it was perfect... He never really looked in the folders so that sucked.
Being patient, biting my tongue and remembering that the kids are stuck in the middle has helped me do my part in maintaining civil communication. I can say that over the course of the past 7 months... Our interaction has improved. Probably due to me no longer engaging in the drama... Ad probably some due to him figuring out that
his game doesn't work anymore... And... I'm fairly certain he's got a new enabler in the hook.... BONUS!!!
Good luck whatever you Choose for you and your daughter!
Shannon