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Old 07-31-2012, 11:19 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Alucard
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Dear Liz, I am going to post the same as I have before. I believe that it applies to all of us. People do not act toward change as long as they are comfortable where they are.

People (and catipilars) change when the pain of where they are becomes greater than the pain of changing.

Liz, you are still within your comfort zone. You are not yet in enough pain to go toward change.

Active alcoholics get worse over time without a program of recovery. Therefore, things are destined to get worse down the line. Moreover, personality disorders are notoriously resistant to treatment, also. It is possible, that, down the line, you may reach a "tipping point" with your level of comfort.

We all care enough about you that we are pretty much in unison as we say: Stating hollow "boundries" and ultimatums will not be of any use to you.

dandylion.
Boundaries and ultimatums are fine as long as you stick to your guns. Otherwise they are hollow and useless. BUT if you stick to your guns, they work, but the alcoholic will be out of your life. I set one 12 years ago with a junkie. And stuck to it, and she was gone for 12 years.....12 years later, she was back, stating herself to be "clean" when in all reality, it was a lie. That lasted 4 weeks. There were no boundaries or ultimatums this time, but it knew what I would and wouldnt put up with. There wont be a third chance.
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