Originally Posted by
m1k3 
Liz, you have pretty clearly stated what you want out of this so my question is:
What good do you think is going to come out of telling him?
I found that talking to an alcoholic while they are still drinking is about effective as talking to a tree except the tree doesn't get mad.
When I looked at my past and all the times I did this what I was really trying to do is control her drinking. That maybe this time she would get it. I have been separated for over a year now, in the process of getting a divorce and she still doesn't get it.
Your friend,
Honestly, as a Christian woman I believe this is more for me. That God does not want me to live in fear of confrontation anymore and this is how I can start working towards overcoming my fears. ALL of my decisions are fear based and, therefore, not from God. They are a part of my own weaknesses and insecurities and I feel I need to confront myself with this as well as confront him. So, I think that's why I don't care about the outcome or how he feels. I am doing it for ME, and that's what matters. No expectations. Well, really, the only expectation I have is that I face my fear and that I get stronger as I work on my fears. I could just move out, but I feel that I'd be running away and there would be confrontation at some point. I want to learn how to say what I mean, mean what I say, and not say it mean. Maybe I see it as practice? God has a plan for me, and this is all part of my plan. It's not about him, it's about me. I seriously am actually looking forward to this, it's giving a lot of peace to know that I am ready to express myself and not FEAR the outcome.