Good points TG... The "i'm not good enough" stuff started maybe a few months ago and I really have been conscious of not trying to make a big deal of it... I took the advice of the T D6 was seeing and just encourage them and let them know they're loved (at times other than when they say they're to blame etc... too) and thought that was a good idea... But maybe I am coddling them..
It's really hard to know...
And as much as I'd like to think that I'm making more of this than it is, I had a long talk with D6's 1st grade teacher at the end of the year about her concerns about D6's anxiety and excessive apologizing (bumping into a desk and saying sorry about 10 times to the teacher and asking if she was mad-- stuff like that). So I am genuinely concerned that this mentality of apologizing and worrying about people being mad at her is a definite issue. When I look at characteristics of ACOA's some of these things are straight from that list and it worries me that I am seeing this in my girls...
Most of the time I don't get too worked up about it but something about tonight really hit me hard...
I will definitely consider though that perhaps I am making more of it than there is.. Thanks for your feedback
