Originally Posted by
Charon 
Me too. The only thing I can think of is being able to (being forced to) face reality as opposed to clinging to delusion. I was unfortunate to not have lost much while drinking. I ended up with a Masters degree, a career, home, tons of stuff, and a couple of really great kids. It was easy to delude myself into thinking I was OK, functional. It took physical illness to make me realize how bad alcohol was for me.
I kept drinking till I was forced to face the fact that if I drank even a sip I lost control of my drinking and the drinking would escalate till I made myself sick. I would feel ill for two or more days. That was reality and I couldn't deny it. I finally decided that drinking wasn't worth the after-effects. Now I take Antabuse so that even a sip would immediately make me deathly ill. I would need to stop taking it for 12 days in order to drink without the effect. It's a way for me short circuit the stupid urges and cravings. I won't say I'm not tempted at times but I have to remember the evidence - I simply cannot drink anymore without serious discomfort.
I was a lot like you in that I was actually quite successful for a long time while I was drinking. I got a professional degree and had a nice career going, got married and had two healthy kids. It all looked so perfect that it was easy to convince myself nothing was really wrong. Even when I lost my ability to work, I rationalized that I was just sacrificing my career to raise the kids.
In the end what got me was the shame. All those years (25 years) I flew under the radar and people didn't know I drank. But I got caught in a most embarrassing way. And that was what it took. Ha, maybe pride isn't such a bad thing after all, eh?
In any event I am glad you have found that the Antabuse is the ticket for you. A question: is this something you intend to do long-term?