Originally Posted by
m1k3 I can see now that almost every time I am angry it is because I am disappointed that my expectations were not met.
Yes, this!
It isn't that your anger "fades", its "re-purposing" the anger by acceptance.
And acceptance that this is the only way, right now, helped a lot for me to let go of the anger. Now, don't get me wrong, I am hugely disappointed that my marriage worked out the way it did. I do feel many things were done "wrong" for my preferences. But I recognize these are my preferences. My stbx...his preferences...that I would shut up and think he's wonderful. That my thoughts, opinions, values, ideals would all match his to a T. That having an intimate relationship would be easy. And you know what? There IS a woman out there who will act like this - for a while at least - but not me. And that's ok. There is no right or wrong, really. It just is.
And P.S. I separated from the stbx in January of 2011. We "tried" for a while, but really, I've been distancing myself for some time. This that I wrote above...well...its' been almost 2 years in the making.