Thanks guys, what you said all makes complete sense, and I'm quite thoughtful today. I do tend to lose myself in others pain and if I'm really honest, focusing on that sometimes is a deflection I do to stop doing the important job of focusing on myself. Facing myself and what made me drink involves difficult and painful self analysis and I need to devote myself to doing just that for a while. I'm thinking a lot about my relationship with my alcoholic and abusive father today.
I don't mean he 'made' me drink, that was all down to me of course. But that child who suffered is still within me and her voice is getting louder the longer I'm sober. I need to listen to her in order to move forward. Not sure that made sense really, but I understand what I mean!!
Thanks for listening. I will get there. Work to do on growing up! X