1. I felt suffocated, confused and distressed.
This was me, I was all 3
2. He has a very forceful personality, and I felt I was not allowed to just be myself in the relationship.
Not really, unless I just can't see this yet. He does have a forceful personality - I was always afraid to leave him, afraid of what he would do
3. He is moody and talked to anyone who would listen about how he was wronged by his AXW. He blames everyone and everything but himself for the bad things that happen in his life.
This is definately him, he is probably telling all of our friends these right now about how awful and bad I am. I don't care though, because these are people that have drinking and drugging problems. They are not in my circle of friends anymore.
4. He is not capable of understanding or accepting the word "no." I tried to tell him many times I did not want him to move in, did not want to shack up, did not want to live together, but he moved in anyway.
This is him also - I have told him millions of times I don't love you, the only reason I am still here is because of the boys. He couldn't take no for an answer, it's like he just wanted to stay in this horrible, drug and alcohol fueled relationship.
5. He would not allow me to be alone or do my own thing. Wherever I was, he would text, call, and email me obsessively. I often found myself altering my own personality and plans to fit his.
He allowed me to do anything I wanted. He lied so much that I was the one that didn't want him going anywhere.
6. He constantly ignored what I said.
He was unable to hear what I said- he was too busy getting stoned and watching sports
7. He expected me to change my plans to accommodate his and his children's plans. When I stopped doing that, he lost interest.
Plans?? I had to make all the plans, if the family was to do anything, I had to make the plans. He was too drugged up to make any plans.
8. In difficult situations, mutual decision-making, and issues of responsibility, he ignores what the other person is saying and just does what he wants, or looks to his children to decide.
He didn't believe in punishing the kids too much.
9. Nothing is ever his fault. He does not accept responsibility for his difficulties. Nor does he do anything to change.
Exactly him, it is always someone else's fault, even if they where based on his lies.
10. He manipulates others by lying. I have heard him lie to his children in order to get them to do what he wants, and I have heard him lie to co-workers in order to build himself up in their eyes.
YES - he is a pathological liar!! His friends are too
11. He often demeans and criticizes other people, especially their looks.
Sorta - he didn't really do it that much.
12/ His friends are all addicts
Yes - he has no sober friends, but neither did I until 7 months ago
13. He abuses his positions of power. He steals from his employer and steals from retailers by buying something, using it or replacing it with something else, and then returning it to the store.
Yes - he is guilty of this also - a whole slew of thefts
I am somewhat guilty of some of these things also. I have not been perfect. I am trying to work on my side of the street right now though, and he isn't doing anything about his. He is into blaming me for all the problems in his life right now and I am moving forward with mine.