Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
We all have choices, even when we convince ourselves we don't. Sometimes all the choices suck and you are forced to choose the least sucky one. But, choosing to stay is a choice, too. Also, most choices don't have to be permanent. You can change your mind any time you want.
L
Liz, LTD's comments above really struck me today. Much of the anxiety I felt in those early days had a lot to do with feeling as if I didn't have choices. But really, it was that I was unable to make them and feel confident in it all.
I had married this man, for better or worse, in sickness and health, leaving didn't seem like the right choice. It was my daughters who tipped the scale on the choice for me. It was their exhaustion of it all, their desire to live a calm peaceful life again. Their need to have consistency, stability, and safety in their home.
How does your son feel? Is he behaving differently while you are away from the stress of your home and marriage? I was able to see my daughters relax into our own normal ebb and flow of life once removed from the stress and tension. I could see almost immediately that when I did make the choice to separate, that no matter how painful it was for me, it was the best thing for my girls. And that gave me the confidence I needed. to continue making the choices I have made since then.