"Last night we were on the phone and he was busy doing some woodworking and the noise was distracting me and I felt like I had to talk over it so I told him to talk to our son for a while instead. They get on the phone and AH stopped doing his sanding to talk to our son. I know it's stupid, but I felt it was being done on purpose just to get me off the phone with him."
Talking over the sound of something is annoying. Don't take it personally, maybe next time ask for him to stop for a moment.
A counselor once helped me to understand that an A is a prisoner to their disease and they never really feel in control, especially if they are trying to stop drinking. It led me to realize that a lot of what my RAH does at times is his way of being in control and unfortunately, unless I speak up for my needs and establish my boundaries that control can affect me.
The serenity prayer helps me a lot, there's a lot you can't change but there is a lot you can. Awareness, Acceptance, Action.
Sorry to be so cliche, but these simple thoughts worked for me, once I came out of the fog.
Maybe you are wanting to leave your AH, maybe not. Just take it one day at a time. Others have pointed out to me, you don't have to decide the future today, just take the next step.
Enjoying your time away is a great step. Speaking up for what you need are good steps. Sometimes figuring out what your true needs are is a step.
It's hard, especially as moms, we need to balance our needs with our children and it gets so mucked up with the alcoholic babies in our lives.
JMO