"Soooooo, if I'm good looking enough to catch men's gaze then why do I stick around with my overweight, bald, middle aged personality disordered alcoholic husband?"
So if you were ugly it would make sense for you to stay with self-centered alcoholic?
The way you talk about your husband, it sounds as though you're done, and no wonder. I appreciate your concern that you want to continue home-schooling your son--and I'm deducing that your husband's income allows you to remain home and do that--and I appreciate that one of your son's drs recommended that specifically. However if that dr knew the whole picture I doubt he/she would say, "Yes, stay with an out-of-control alcoholic who drives drunk and makes home life intolerable. That's clearly the best environment for your son to be in all day long."
If leaving definitely means ceasing or decreasing home-schooling, what other resources are available in the schools where you live? I know some people in child special ed in the states and I can ask them for resources if you like.