Hi Sweetteewalls, I can also relate to your recent experience with feeling angry despite (because of?) the honesty of my STBXAH soon after he quit initially. He was working through a lot of feelings with his therapist that he had previously been completely unaware of. He was remembering more about his childhood, which I took as a good sign that he was actually ready and willing to work on the roots of his issues.
I had (have) a lot of anger toward him, and I knew that we both needed to get a lot more grounded before we could hope to have reasonable interactions again. I wanted us to give each other more space, but he wanted to share with me all the new things he was learning about himself, I think to show me how much effort he was investing and how much progress he was making. The problem that I saw was that he actually was not aware of his own behaviors as much as he thought he was. His MO for months was typical A - manipulative blame shifting. I don't think he really understood how much that continued. He would tell me about some time in his past when he felt his parents were emotionally unavailable, and then explain that he got a similar feeling from my behavior because I had left him. He failed to see why I hadnt yet forgiven him the abuses and abandonment he had put on me. In the past, those kinds of words would have made me sympathetic and challenge me to make his world better again. It hasn't worked on me now for months, and he finally gave up trying.
I see from your post that you are not yet hearing the guilt-tripping or blame-shifting side of his honesty. I'm very glad. But, I think that it may be really common for recovering As to manipulate that way, even if they are not consciously aware of it. And, it seems to me, that some of the previous posters were pre-emptively warning about that possibility.
You are sounding really clear-headed in your recovery. It's wonderful to read. Keep your focus and your peace.
All the best,
Fathom