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Old 07-15-2012, 06:01 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
RedCandle
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 148
And I thought I was the only one!

My XABF is BRUTALLY "honest" about all of his past and present behaviors. I remember when we first started dating and it was gushing out of his mouth: how many (many) women he had slept with, alcohol, drug use in college, bar fights. You'd THINK I would have walked away then...not exactly romantic "first date" talk.

When his drinking got to his very worst and his behavior was out of control...it was almost like he would drop a confession bomb...and then stand back to see what I would do. I guess I should have "taken shelter" when the first bomb hit. Instead, I commended him for his "honesty"...it seemed better then hiding things. But like you said, its no easier to take.

He is now back in AA and says he's going to a therapist....although its hard to see much change. The brutal "honesty" continues. I too need to be more assertive about what is for his THERAPIST to hear....and what is for me to hear.

I've really learned a lot from everyone about how this "honesty" may actually be manipulation. I hadn't considered that.

I often point out his "pity parties"....but its true...once the story telling starts...my heart softens. I need to be more watchful....
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