Wow Anvilhead such anger and bitterness! How long have you been in "recovery?"
Allow me to clarify:
There are addicts whom we would call "Functional" they are able to hold down a job, have a home, car, etc... this however does not make them any less of an addict or any more available to others. If someone is using - that is their number one priority. There can only be one number one. That is why addiction is a family disease and affects the entire family, It has a ripple effect. Your actions affect mine and the kids and so on and so on. You were able to keep from losing everything. That's awesome. Sadly, I have seen too many that lose everything to their addiction.
Many addicts came from good homes with good parents and good role models. They have ethics and morals and values. It is just that when using, the addict will "forget" those ethics and morals and values in order to justify, rationalize, or any other defense mechanism you care to choose - in order to use. Do they go into some kind of trance or amnesia that they forget right from wrong? Or that the money they are spending on crack is for rent or the kids formula? OF COURSE THEY DON'T! They just don't care. Do they feel regret, shame, remorse, or guilt at times? OF COURSE THEY DO! That's when they usually pick up that drink, pipe, etc... or are lucky enough to get into recovery.
I wouldn't call my friend "misunderstood" or a "low life con artist." There are reasons behind his situation as all of us have our own histories, which I do not care to go into.
Finally, most addicts are not responsible during their addictions, hence the job losses, homelessness, jail time etc.. the fact that none of this happened to you and that you were able to hold it together for so long and to take your ex into consideration is commendable to be sure. But your behavior would be the exception to the rule, not the norm.