Originally Posted by
Lenina 
For me, the hardest part was making the decision to quit drinking. Once I had committed to permanent abstinence, I don't feel a struggle. I acknowledge the impulse and move on. Does it not work the same way for you guys?
Hi, Lenina.
Most of the time, yes. I too have much less struggling thanks to my commitment to forever/never/now. My original point is that I think it's OK for me to acknowledge and be grateful for the smoother path, without anyone inferring that I am unable to cope with the occasional bump in the road.
I may have overstated the case against cravings in my earlier post. It's not like I'm sitting in a chair, fingers digging into the armrests, sweat on my forehead, battling my way through. When an AV thought comes, I see it, I become aware of the tension that rises within me, and I take a breath and wait for it to go. Like I said before, it's hardly crippling or painful. But I'm just being honest—if I had a choice, in that moment I would prefer to be thinking about something else. I'd rather be thinking about a funny joke or an interesting book or whatever. I only have so many minutes on this planet.
It's kind of like the "I'd rather be fishing" sticker you see on cars. That doesn't mean they can't drive, or that driving causes physical pain. It just means that if they had their druthers, they'd rather be fishing. And yeah, being stuck in traffic sucks.
(Did I just say druthers? Who says that?)
Kind of along the lines of what Saskia is saying, I just think it's possible to go too far in our quest to spot AV. Before you know it, we'll be burning innocent thoughts at the stake.
Also, while my Big Plan is permanent, my thoughts and feelings are not etched in stone. Catch me on another day and I might tell you I am grateful for the occasional craving, because it reminds me how far I've come.
I am one complicated mofo!
