Originally Posted by
holdingontight 
Thank You, I'm just having a hard time with all of this and this is the only place I feel like I can Vent or find answers. Everyone exspects me to be his baby sitter and make sure he's okay and in a way I feel like a failure because it's gone so far. I know I cant control this but the old feelings still creep in. I need to go back to my Alanon groups again as well, this last week though I had a feeling of maybe I could keep a friendship with him, like mothers get to do with their alcoholic children. I still believe I will in the long run but this also leads me to unhappy days like today when he ends up in a hospital.
We can't do it all and that's how we all got here - because each and every one of us thought we could. Hell, I am fighting the good fight to handle my life, what was i ever thinking I could manage my exabf's?? A friendship is one thing but living your life seeking ways to help him is fruitless and I know that's a hard thing to swllow. Even being friends you will always walk that fine line of being a friend (who needs to stay detached and grounded) and the dark world of co-dependency. The water is very muddy here, I should know, I feel I could be a poster child for it, lol.
Just ask yourself if you're getting anything out of remaining friends with him because any relationship is a two way street of giving and taking but never all just take or all just give. It will leave you exhausted.