View Single Post
Old 07-12-2012, 11:32 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
NikNox
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 188
Thankfully my stepdaughter is receptive, she knows she's suffered and that her suffering has made her abnormal in ways. She strives to fit in on one hand, but then on the other fixates on things that would set her apart. She says she feels different to other kids, but then she has to have the latest clothing, hairstyle, make-up etc., almost to the point of obsession. She never had these things when with mum. She describes herself as a 'skank' with greasy hair and headlice, awful clothes (boy, they really were awful), and her mum never allowed her much in the way of freedom, but dominated her by forcing her to do chores beyond any reasonable expectation. With us her life is the polar opposite, and I guess we are guilty of spoiling her to a point.

Katie, something you said about alcoholics wanting those around them to be perfect, that reminded me of something SD told us many years ago, and that was that her mother forbade her from frowning, because it would cause wrinkles on her forehead. She would make SD cleanse and moisturise twice every day, telling her she must do this (at 5 years old) otherwise she would have wrinkles. I find that bizarre, but it makes sense after what you said, and also the body image stuff. She would make SD do stomach crunches of an evening, so she'd have a 'washboard' stomach (just remembered that too). So, she didn't want her daughter to have wrinkles, wanted her to have a flat stomach and told her her ankles were ugly. Jeez, is it any wonder the kid has issues.

I'm not sure where we go with all of this, really I'm not. There is so much to consider, so much to sort out ......
NikNox is offline