confused85

So I'm the proud father of 3 great children, 5 month old twins and my adopted 5 year old son. My wife was a meth user in her early 20's but had been clean for 7 years. Last month my wife got back on meth and disappeared for a couple days only to come home mean as hell and pointing fingers. We got her detoxed and to an inpatient 30 day program and all was well for 2 weeks, I went to every group I could and couples counseling went amazing!
She walked out on the 4th of july and said" I just didn't want to be clean that day. She's detoxed again a few days later and is in a program called "house inc" in Joplin Mo which required a year commitment. She has 2 weeks of being locked down but then she has to get a job and can have weekend passes to come see us...or who ever see pleases. She is on Zyprexa (bi polar) and I took her $300 worth today but I'm scared that this is just another bandage.
I love her with all my heart and miss my best friend but I feel abandoned,used and lonely. Where did my wife with the heart of gold go?

She has had many traumatic events in her past but our time together has been the happiest that I've ever know

Thanks!