some of us are just smarter and more capable than others...so that when we enable an addict by providing shelter, food and a shower, even after they immediately break the "rules" of a homemade do it yourself rehab shelter...well, it doesn't count...because we're not as hysterical as the mother and we know that we're doing the right thing, and our husband needs to do it, and the experience of 99% of those WITH experience just doesn't matter.