HP....WOW!!
We have more than you know in common. My partner and I feel the same way. We get lonely as we know few people in the area. We share a single car. We find a richness as you say in the places that have also caused us the most harm.... The tavern.
The most difficult aspect to adjusting to abstinence is not stopping to drink. I can do that.... Be around drink... And still not need it.
What I need and do not have in my life is a family... Or support network. The loneliness and isolation is what drives me to go to places... Were drinking is the focus. because its also the easiest.
I agree... This sounds like AV or excuses. I know. And it may very well be part of it all. Ok it is.
But while I can manage the drinking I cannot manage the loneliness. I am a very social person.
I must change something very core to me if I am going to also change my life.
But while I agree with you on most points.... I also know without question that I have come to a point where it's time to move on.
If I tell myself the only place to find friends and have fun is a bar... Then that's the only place I am going to go. If i tell myself thats it? Then that's an outright lie. Period.
I am making true efforts to seek out new places to go. Trying new things that put me in the path of others... Maybe I will trip over a new friend.
I hear you about the schedule. That adds an element of difficulty.... But we only have in our lives what we seek out and fill them with.
No one ever got a college degree because they did not try or want one. Again we only fill our lives with what we seek out.
If you want it... You can make it happen. It has taken me at least 8 years of saying exactly what you said before I said enough. Time to move on.
All my best to you and your partner!
Ken