I came to believe...
Came to...meaning that I have been through hell and back. Some of the hell, I was born into it and some of it I managed to create and allow into my life. It isn't just the hell that has brought me to this point. It was the bits of heaven that have fallen into my lap over time.
Monday, I experienced what I consider to be a miracle. After my Intro to Statistics class my professor drove me home. On the ride home, she asked me about my relationship with God. She was listening to Christian music and she really enjoyed this one song that was on the radio. She asked if I minded if she turned it up. Then she then begin to talk about her love for God. She asked me if I had a relationship with God. I began to tell her, but I kept it short. I said something along the lines of "I believe in a higher power."
I asked her about her relationship with God. I said, it seems as though she has a very strong faith. She told me her story. It was an incredible story. She suffered a lot early in life and in time she came to know Jesus. She then asked me about what I've gone through. She told me she could feel my pain. She can tell I had been hurt. She brought me to tears. I wasn't even sad and thinking about the pain in my life. But somehow, she could still tell that I have been through the ringer.
I am not sure that I have ever had anyone feel my pain so acutely before. I cried and cried. I was so touched. She held me and she cried with me. She prayed for me. It was an incredible experience. She asked me to accept Jesus into my life. I told her I do believe in a higher power greater than me.
I am not sure about accepting Jesus, but I can tell you today that I have truly come to believe, with all my heart, that a power greater than myself can and will restore me to sanity. In the past 6 months that I have started going to Al-Anon, I have felt more sane than I have my entire adult life.
Life is good. Life is beautiful. Even when things are tough. Even while I am climbing mountains, I am doing so with a newfound peace and an understanding that I will get to the top of that mountain. And I am not alone.
Love and Light,
Lily
