Weasel1966

I had this all typed out to be in newcomers. I realized this perspective is because I use AVRT and that other thoughts, on alcohol, will only be inflamed because I choose to have dominion over my additions and express it as such.

The point is not how many times can we pick out my AV in this post. It's about a small triumph of thought that I experienced and suspect I will continue to experience as I gain undstanding and a keen ear for AV.

Got home from work yesterday. Very tired, and in the midst of my laziness decided to get something for dinner take out.

Considering that options I went with a bar / restaurant down the street. Yes it's a bar. An active one at that. One I have drank at. And yes this is coming off a slip the day before.

Now before I hear all the comments about my AV got me there and other perspectives hear me out.

I checked out the menu online and placed the order. I drove down the street and went in. Sat at the bar at the end by the servers to ask for my order.

I relaxed and watched the big tvs until the order was ready.

About 10 minutes into this wait I looked and saw the bottles. I smiled a big smile.

It never crossed my mind.. Never thought about it once.... No active AV in sight.

I just simply selected the place. Ordered my food. Went to pick it up. And went home.

Alcohol and drinking in general for me has always been situational. I almost never drank at home. No alcohol was allowed in the house. Time of day and day of the week were more of an influence than the mear fact there was a bottle across the room.

Does this make me less of an alcoholic? No. No. And he!! No.

What it means for me is that I can and will be able to go about life not cowering from ever bottle on a shelf I see. That my intent for my life can be stronger than my addition.

The effects of drinking are clear in my life. Physical, mental, financial, emotional.

Do I need to be lead Around by them every moment of every day? No. But I do need to keep that sharp ear out for my AV. It will be sneaky.

But feels good that life can also be lived.

I am not stupid enough to think this will apply to every situation. But we have to accept when we actively go about life that we will at some point be face to face with a bottle on a shelf.

I must believe that I can observe the bottle with out pouncing on it.

If I don't have this basic belief in myself then life will never be lived.

It will simply be feared.

And that's not good enough for me.