What Itchy said (You're my SR hero right now
)
I'm in the same place as you really KDL so have no really useful advice. I have always tended to be a 'yes man', so getting honest is important in trying to figure out what I actually want.
I just kind of think that if we are not happy sober then something is wrong and there must be something practical we can do to help ourselves. Of course there are going to be highs and lows but even without booze people have to work on their happiness/general life coping skills.
That said though... regarding 'sober, boring, not fun me', you're not a performing monkey and it isn't your job to entertain anyone. It's only natural that things will be a bit rocky for a bit and you shouldn't feel guilty for not feeling 100% x
I would definitely look into AVRT too if you haven't yet already.