Originally Posted by
KDL 
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Currently, I feel paralyzed because I am afraid to do things out of fear that the thoughts/ feelings that I am having are coming from my addiction. I told myself 58 days ago that I would get and stay sober and not make any decisions until I was sure I had clear, rational thinking. But, I'm not sure I can tell.
My husband believes I'm not happy. I'm not. But I don't know why. I don't know if it's my marriage, if sober me is just not a happy person, or if my addiction is trying to make me think I need to drink to be happy, or leave so I can drink.
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What does it feel like right now to imagine that you will never again, at any time, for the rest of your life, ever experience the sensations of being under the influence of alcohol again?
Now make two lists. One with the positive internal responses, and one with the negative internal responses.
If one of the negatives is that you'll be boring and no fun; bingo, there's your answer.
But the real key to your future is - what's on the positive list?