Ended it, Part 9: Weak, weepy weekend
Short recap: broke up with xABF recently when he was a total drunken ass before my birthday, right before he was to help me move.
So, please don't pile up in me all at once. I'm really fragile.
Long story short: I saw him this weekend (he went to the same mass and waited for me after). I didn't know he'd be there so it caught me off guard. I went right to tears, and so did he (I've never seen him cry). He feels horrible and embarrassed and has started going to AA. I could tell from how he looked and sounded, he had not been drinking. I do believe him.
And now I'm more of a mess. Intellectually, I should be so angry for what he has done to me. Emotionally, I'm just wanting wanting to hug him, tell him things will be OK and we'll get through this together. I'm so sad because we do dearly love each other. And I'm distraught because I know I cant be with him.
He needs to concentrat his full attention on getting well and so I do.
Doesn't make it easy.