I certainly don't know what the NY scene is like , but maybe look for more the coffee shop end of things rather than a bar.
Isolation is a big part of what i've had to deal with , partially i try to accept i'm quite a strong person and not to everyones tastes especially on quite a shallow scene , i also use other networking sites and specificly search for non-d&d'ers for the odd message / friendship .
I always find Rob Halford a bit of an inspiration , into the same music as me , D&D free for over 25 years ..
get back to it , the fight ain't over . M