Okay, now we know about her.
What about you????
Have you started working on you yet? Have you started working out a 'plan of action' for you?
This is just 'same old' 'same old'. Nothing has changed. You say your stress level is already rising as it gets closer to her return.
Is this how you want your life to be? Because what you have right now is what it will be.
I had a dear friend, she was one of my sponsor's other sponsees. She had 8 years sober when I finally found recovery. Her husband was VERY STRONG ALANON. At one point, he left. Didn't divorce, just left, told her to give him a call when she made up her mind what she was going to do. It took her another almost 2 years, but he was out of the 'front row seat' as he put it.
Yep, they did get back together and had quite a good life when I got to know them. He practiced his Alanon program to the best of his ability every day and she practiced her AA program to the best of her ability every day. Three years ago, something started to happen to her. She drank for about 6 months, but not the way she used to. She had full blown Alzheimers and ended up in an Alzheimers unit with Jerry being with her every day as much as possible. Dot passed away last year. Jerry is still alive and kicking, STILL goes to Alanon to share his message of hope. They were married just 50 years when she passed.
My point is, that Jerry found his OWN WAY. He started working on HIM. He could only hope and pray that Dot would find recovery. He stayed away, and allowed her to fall to her own bottom. He no longer 'propped' her up in any way. He took their two boys with him. His mom watched them when they weren't in school and he took over their care when he got home from work. They both worked at the same company, but different departments in different buildings. So he periodically got word of how she was or was not doing. They both retired from that company and had hoped to have some really great Golden Years together. As it is though, Jerry still raves about the two programs and that IF a couple can work on their own issues, keep their own side of the street clean, not enable each other, there is a chance.
So, again I ask, what are you doing for YOU?
Love and hugs,