Dear Bobcat I really do 'HEAR' you and I listened to your words....I am not moving countries to be with him - where he lives, is where my work is based and I have lived between my 'home country South Africa' and this other country for 18 years - since I was a young person...what I am saying, is that I am so grateful to have joined this SR - as I hopefully, God willing, will be adequately prepared, and would have sorted out MYSELF, in order to live in the same country as H - and not be pulled into this 'b...s...t of a relationship'. I am going to give myself enough time and therapy and whatever it takes to get myself out of this in one piece!!! I will NEVER sacrifice my son's life. I grew up in an alcoholic home and am only too painfully aware of the results......