Hello copperfield and welcome back to SR.
Of course I think you should try again.
I decided to quit for good on April 1st this year. I've been sober three months, and I'm so much healthier and happier, that I just can't even contemplate drinking again. I'm like you - I used to love a glass of wine. LOVE it! But the problem was, after I'd had that one - that was it. I couldn't stop. So, though I get fleeting moments where I think a glass of wine would be just PERFECT, I remind myself that actually, it really wouldn't. A glass of wine would be like throwing away everything I've done in the last 3 months and pushing myself back into the hell life I used to live. No, thank you!
It was really difficult at first and I struggled with my decision to stop drinking. I didn't know whether I was doing the right thing - I thought perhaps I could one day manage my drinking like a normal person. It wasn't until I said "I will never drink again" (and meant it) that I felt settled and comfortable in my choice. I no longer have anxiety about drinking or worry about when I will allow myself to drink again. I just know that I will never drink again, and it is the most liberating decision I've ever made.
AVRT do a crash course that really helped me. For 2 months I didn't think I needed a certain programme to help me. The crash course took about 10 minutes and has totally changed my outlook on this whole thing. I know that everything relating to alcohol is not something I have to act on. I no longer worry about those thoughts I sometimes get that say "just have one" or "you're OK now" because I know what those thoughts are - they're the evil monster that wants me to go back to being a mess. It's not me. It has no power over my actions. It is a thought - I do not have to do anything about it.
Good luck with starting again. You can do it
