Originally Posted by
EnglishGarden 
Lala, do not cry at night with shame or guilt, there is absolutely no basis for it.
And in my experience, the parents who are hardest on themselves for their "stupid mistakes" are very often the ones who are the most devoted to their children and the least narcissistic.
I see a lot of parents out there thinking their children are "great" because the parents think THEY were "great" , never divorced, never had addictions. Well, I am here to tell you, Lala, that in my experience those parents are often delusional and grandiose.
Humility and a willingness to grow is what makes a good parent, and you have both qualities. Your daughter will love you for that.
WOW I needed that. I am in a very similar situation Lala...very similar. Trying to work and AH babysitting (sober) during the day yet hungover or emotionally drained . It is so hard and conflicting.
I am terrified what this is doing to my 3 yr DD as well and I am more concerned about how my reactions to AH is affecting her. I cracked and yelled at him today and it scared her and I realize I cannot teach her that this is how problems are dealt with. Breaks my heart. But at least I am gaining consciousness of this....and steps I need to take to better myself.
I feel for you because I know how tricky it is. I have been going to the community school online for accounting and its hard to figure out stocks and bonds when worrying if AH is still breathing in the other room.
I feel like a single parent although married.....and
I am in similar situation as to what to do next.
hugs