Husband arrested again
So many times I wanted to post my story ask for advice so I want to start my 1st post by saying THANK YOU to each and every one of you. YOU HAVE NO IDEA how much strength you have given me by sharing your deapest secrets, thoughts most painful moments that this addiction causes everyone it touches just not the addict.
So I am not going to make this long and get into great detial because MY STORY IS WAY TO LONG! LOL And my codependecy started with my 1st husband that I was married to for 16 years which I had no idea until I came to this site and read codepenant no more and started attending meetings on a regular basis. That being said I married my 2nd husband at the end of 2011NO REGRETS because if I had not done that I WOULD NOT HAVE LEARNED so much about myself and where I am today.
But I am looking for help, advice tonight you see my AH started using METH 2 month’s after we where married and he left and I waited for the call that he was in jail well when he got out he went to his NEW FOUND SISTER that they had been split up since their mom died from a herrion overdoes when my AH was 3, well the sister runs a SOBER LIVING AND WAS A BIG PART of us getting back together when he came back in my life right before we got married he was at sober living with his sister for over a year!
Anyway he got out of jail and went to the sister’s we only talked on the phone that was the end of MAY 2012. She text me asking me for money said he was in a 6 month program and she could use help paying for his personal items, cigs deodrant things like that. (I WAS STRONG I SAID NO!) Well then she text me a week ago stating she felt like she was slapped in the FACE and he doesn’t love her he left and was back on METH! Iwas so proud of my response I said well please remember YOU DID NOT CAUSE IT, YOU CAN NOT CONTROL IT AND YOU CAN NOT CURE IT! And this has nothing to do with LOVE it is a disease and it’s sad because it is clear he has not reached HIS BOTTOM and I AM SCARED for him what his bottom truly is.
Well yesturday a text stating he was arrested for possession and she is going to ask that they give him a 6 month program and she has faith and knows this time everything will be fine because he knows he needs help and this is his 1st possession charge and she is so happy about that! Well he has said all those things to me in the past as well as this man has been in and out of jail since he was 16 and he will be 30 this year! BUT I WILL NOT LIE IT HURTS THAT HE IS CALLING HER NOT ME! IT HURTS THAT HE HASN’T CALLED HOME AT ALL THIS TIME!
So when I get that text on Tueday from her letting me know how court went how do I respond? How do I respond to him if and when he calls? How would you all handle this situation with AH sister? I do know codependency is a daily struggle just like addiction and I CONTINUE TO WORK on me daily, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard it doesn’t mean that I am not SCARED TO DEATH AND question every decsion and step I make exspecially when it pertains to my AH!
Thank you all again for your strength and guidance as I am so happy I came across such an amazing site! Sorry it's longer than I thought I feel like I need to write a book about my life sometime! lol