Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
i find conflict with the fact that you HACKED IN to his account...and are reading his emails, for whatever reason. how would it feel if you found out he was doing that? i'm not sure that's legal either? or that anything you find is valid "evidence"? to date have you found anything CONCRETE that is really making a whit of difference from the BUSINESS perspective?
Nope, not hacking when you own the corporation that owns the domain name and pays the rent on the server. Not illegal when AH is a corporate employee. It's the same thing as monitoring your employees' emails for offensive content. This is from my attorney.
My AH was also logging into my email. I found out when my 11 year old son slipped up and told me (nice, huh?). Fair is fair. Fortunately, I've kept sensitive things out of my email account so no damage done.
It makes a huge difference from a business perspective. As in about 2 million dollars difference of my own personal money that I stand to lose if I get sloppy. So it matters. It will be the difference between whether I can continue to stay home with my kids and go back to work.
It makes a difference when I find out that my AH altered documents and has taken out a line of credit against the corp, for which I am half liable.
Through this, I've learned that my husband is colluding with out out-of-state bookkeeper (who it turns out is ALSO an alcoholic!) to cook the books.
The attorney has looked at everything and says I have big reason to worry and to keep monitoring if I can. And the printed emails I have (legally) will make good leverage against AH and the bookkeeper (who is getting fired next week) if ever I need it.
I can detach and deal with the corporate crap. There is a ton at stake and if I am smart and keep my head, I'll come out OK. It's just seeing the other side of all this, the alcoholic playing sad victim, the friends gathering round to support him, the all-male war cry to "find a new woman" that's really tough.
Lillamy, thanks, that's good advice to just kind of shut off the emotion while I am getting through this. I guess I can have a good cry once the separation is over and my AH is trolling for unsuspecting women in wine bars, LOL. Tonight I was mowing and thinking about how funny it is that people think my AH is such a great guy and I am an evil witch who makes him cry. Like life is really ever that simple.