I got accused of cheating every time xabf was drunk. If HE hasn't suggested counseling ( and forgive me that I can't remember if you've posted about that), or suggested getting help on his own, there's nothing you can do to change that. And really, making counseling conditional upon getting help is an ultimatum. I did that, and it landed my drunk ABF in jail last night because he wasn't trying to get sober for the right reasons. Have fun in FL, and think seriously about what it would take to put yourself first.