Originally Posted by
transformyself 
I thought, he just did that for the last time.
Now, here on SR, myself and plenty of others folks post all day long about the horrific, unacceptable situations we're in, but we stay. We stay and complain and we stay and wish things were different, we stay and wonder what we're doing wrong, we stay and try to figure out why.
It's very different from what I used to do, that horrible, devastating dance. You know? The one where my abuser treats me like crap, I recoil, become furious, fight and play victim until I've had enough, then they throw scraps at me so I stay with a thimble full of hope instead of the abundance the Universe has to offer.
Thank you for sharing your strength in breaking the vicious cycle. Stay strong. I too am working on breaking the cycle with my AH. He doesn't make it easy but he has noticed I'm not playing his blame/shame/anger game as much as I used to. He thinks I'm "indifferent"; I told him the way I reacted before wasn't working so I'm trying something different. It feels good that my strength and intolerance to BS that I had before this relationship is returning. The crumbs and scraps he sprinkles my way- I don't hold on to those for dear life anymore. He tells me what he thinks I want to hear and I no longer do cartwheels. Actions matter; AH's inaction when it comes to me and our marriage tells me everything I need to know.