Originally Posted by
JenT1968 
sorry there was an awful lot of "you"s and even a "should" in that post.
I'm clearly having a "know-it-all" relapse.
Hey, no worries. I appreciate people's comments and opinions, warts and all. That's why I come here, because when we are in the middle of things, we don't always 'see' what we should. Therefore other people can point it out to us. It's immensely helpful. And you are right, we haven't got these issues right now, I'm just looking ahead to the potential difficulties we could face. I'm like that, can't help it, but do recognise it's not necessarily healthy.
Of note, I have heard today that the reason SD's mum didn't call her last night was because she was pi$$ed on vodka, at her best friends house (this information came from her best friends stepdaughter), beating the crap out of my informant's brother, along with her best friend. Two grown women, totally out of their brains, beating up a lad. Apparently, SD's mum was 'vicious' and the poor lad has been left with a cut lip and two black eyes. I'm not sure if the police are involved, but they should be. So, it begs a few questions ... how 'ill' is this woman exactly? To have the strength to beat someone up. I don't know, and I don't particularly care to be honest, and if anything it has reiterated exactly why we should NOT allow any contact to be unsupervised. And to think we were actually considering allowing SD to go over there!!! Madness!!! And, by the way, mum has behaved this way in the past in front of both her children, so having them with her doesn't stop her violence.
I have shared this with SD. She made both my husband and I promise, a year ago, to always tell her the truth, even if it hurt her, and we have respected that. She's disgusted with her mum, of course, and said 'it's pretty obvious that she doesn't care about me isn't it'. I did explain that she does care, but right now the booze is more important. But, she knows that, she's been dealing with that in her counselling.
I am not a violent person, in any way shape or form, but there is something about that woman that makes me just wanna go punch her lights out. I won't, of course, but godammit I feel like it.