I am definitely letting go. I've washed my hands of it all. For a moment over the weekend, I saw a glimpse of the man he can be when he's clearheaded and I found myself with feelings. It was so good while it lasted but later that day, I snapped myself out of it and today I reiterated for about the 4th time that we are clear about the move date (this weekend).
The co-dependent me would've tried to sway his decision on getting inpatient care or at the very least outpatient but I realize it's his choice alone to make, even if it's the wrong one.
The co-dependent me would've not pushed him to move out for fear of hurting his feelings or that he may end up living out of his car 'til he found somewhere.
The co-dependent me would try to somehow find a solution to the fact he'll lose his car because he can't make the remaining payments but the most I've done is feel sad.
The co-dependent me would've written him a letter of our memories, how good things used to be, how much I will miss him but that will only keep my heart tied to him.
The new me is detaching and, yes, crying, but reaching out to co-workers who I trust (and lo and behold, they have experienced something similar), planning workouts with other co-workers, taking an extended long weekend and making plans, even if it's to re-do the apartment to make it more of ME (I've been bargain shopping the last month or two and waiting for the day to do this), and planning a nice healthy grocery shopping trip to get all healthy foods in the house.
Yes, he still owes me money. If he moves in with a relative, and once he gets a new job, they have promised me he will pay me back the remainder (them I believe).
But I do have a question - is it ok to still feel sorry for him? I just keep praying that he'll find/choose the right path.
As of Monday, my new life begins. I hope for him it does too.