Me, again-had to jump off as I was no longer alone. Don't know if I am in the right place, but if AH is going to have to go "back" to rehab, I would really like to see him come out with tools to improve all of his decisions, and with more than going to meetings and saying, 'Hi, I am AH and I am an alcoholic' " (which has kept my husband sober, but not helped him re-enter the world, for 20 years. I am not putting down his sobriety and I love him). I would like "AH" to come out of a program thinking, "I beat drugs, I CAN do more than that'-sort of "Hello, I am "AH" and I'm a 1) happy person's 2) with a place to work that I love, 3) hobbies like scuba and) a significant other. Oh, yeah, I once beat addiction, too.
Call me stupid, but at just under sixty I have left behind a lot behind me-some of which I am not proud, some of which was done to me, and some of which I am actually proud of-but is still history. What make addiction so much worse, that having beaten it one continually carries the scarlet "A" (for addiction, not adultery <g>) for life? Have none of us had to overcome similarly bad history?
I am no longer talking to old resources who believe that if I don't insist on the traditional, I am, then, of course enabling.
I am exhausted and know that I need to care for ME, but if any of you have thoughts about non-twelve step programs, I would like to hear. Please no flames.-.-I will burn up and scatter.
Love, again
LLAWEN