I am new here, have read tons of blogs before I actually registered and start posting.
Just want to write down something to keep myself reminded:
1) Thoroughly study alcoholism, and decide if alcoholism is a deal breaker in my relationship, which aims towards marriage!
2) Since I am already involved in a relationship with an alcoholic, it's time to play some tough love for him and myself. Nobody is a baby!!! Stand up and fight the immature emotions!
3) If he doesn't understand and respect the new boundary that I/we set, then we are not on the same page anyway. No common value about life. The relationship wouldn't last long turn anyway. Move on!
4) If he doesn't sincerely accept the mutual boundary and turns around looking for another enabler+girlfriend, then he is not ready for sobriety anyway! Better off without him. Move on!
5) He is a grown man, and WILL SURVIVE without me taking care of him and help him detox! If he is a ture man and really feel sorry for the loss of his life, he will struggle and stand up again and FIGHT, although he may fall down from time to time! I am not looking for a sick street dog, I am looking for a real man for husband!
6) I don't have to feel self-pity either! Make up my mind and follow through with actions.
7) If he does turely work on his sobiety, fine! I will talk to him with respect, love and kindness. If he doesn't, fine! We never mean to be together anyway. Walk away with head up!
Any further suggestion? Also would love to hear what male alcoholic friends say? Best luck to everyone!