Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
you see his behavior as a threat to your safety and security (and rightly so i might add). so......accepting that you CAN'T CHANGE HIM, what might be some prudent steps to take to assure your safety and security? you guys are totally locked in The Dance right now.....he keeps doing stupid careless bonehead stuff in spite of the risk and who it may affect, and you keep letting it get to you and acting almost "surprised" when he repeats the same actions. you're taking it personal....
Ugh, The Dance. I danced and danced and danced. Until one day it dawned on me that I was participating. I am not a victim. These things weren't happening to me because of someone else's behavior. They were happening to me because I was allowing it!
Can you begin the process of separating your life from his as much as possible in case the legal problems continue? I know we are on the hook as long as we are married, but at least get on separate insurance policies and such to protect yourself as much as possible?