Originally Posted by
sweetteewalls 
He's not bugging me. Its more me, missing the old him. I'm not in danger. I just need coping tools more within myself how to get through the vulnerable moments. I'm ok for the most part...but the times where I'm missing my family (including him) being together, I want to reach out. I haven't, but the stirring inside is there...
I know how this feels...and what has been successful for me is in these moments, where I feel nostalgic about the "old him" (or I should say the not-real him) I play it forward in my head. What would it look like if I did reach out? How would I feel when he does or says something nasty and cruel again? How far will it set me back this time? And then I go do some reading - Al-Anon and Melody Beattie have great daily readers that can be so supportive in these moments.