Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
You're right. Speaking to him about his behavior, giving him the letter, drawing him a picture--none of it will change anything. Zero, zip, nada.
It's not HIM that needs convincing, it's you. If his behavior is unacceptable, why are you accepting it? He doesn't need to know your thoughts, you do. What are they? You say you are not ready to walk away. Do you know why? Are you hoping if you say just the right thing, write the perfect letter, he will slap his forehead and say "of course! you are right! what was I thinking?" (I say that because that's where I was for a long time.
)
Your mental energy is much better spent figuring out you than him.
L
I had to go back and re-read this thread today and this post stuck with me for a while. To answer your question: No, I don't know why I am not ready to walk away and maybe it's just going to take longer for me to figure that out? Maybe I'm expecting too much from myself at this point and I'm trying to force change both on myself and on my husband?
Back in February, before his DUI, I told myself that I was going to spend a year working the Al Anon program before I would make any decisions about my marriage. I just got a sponsor last week so really I haven't been 'working' the program. I am planning on holding myself to my original commitment. If I start working the program now, I can work with my sponsor for the next 6 months and see where I'm at in that time. I can still set some boundaries, I can still keep putting money away for myself, I can still find a part time job, but I can also work the program in the right way so that I can make a decision that doesn't feel forced. I think what I'm lacking is confidence and I obviously have some work to do on myself at this point so I might as well start somewhere.