Welcome rebecca -
I couldn't wait for the kids to get to bed either, and leave me to drink. It's what addiction does to us. It becomes the focus of the day and after a while it's the only thing we look forward to. Believe me, we understand.
I was a huge mess when I first got here and the hope I found helped me decide to take the leap into sobriety, as scary as it was. We all need support and I'm glad you're here today!:ghug3