This thread brings up an interesting thing being pondered over at a different forum I belong to, one for SOs of personality disordered folks.
It is about the three top stumbling blocks to re engaging with a disordered person. The site is so similar to this one in so many ways, you could basically insert alcoholic in place of PD...
Anyway, one of the top three things everyone listed and voted in was the non PDs need to be HEARD.
Validated, if you will.
Just like over here, there are old timers and people who are passing on ESH about their successes.
One of the top three:
Letting go of e need to be heard, validated or absolved, proven right, whatever. In a letter, face to fce, or whatever.
It won't change them. You could just as easily send the letter to an inbox labeled God.
It is really helping me.to remember that I don't need to be heard by him, validated, agreed with, absolved.
I give that to myself, after all, and that is true health.
Just a thought about that letter.
I( am on an iPad and I am just not that good at typing on this thing, so pardon the typos)