Yep. I'm the one with the problem. He's told me this a thousand times and it only makes me mad. But now I'm seeing that HE doesn't have a problem with his behavior, I do. I would love to be there for him yo get sober but almost 18 months in "recovery " and I think I've had enough. When I start to feel I have some measure of control of myself he pushes again. I read an excerpt from a book on here last weekend anout the angry and not angry partner. It almost perfectly described us. He pushes and I lose control and then he accuses me of being crazy. What an eye opener. I actually was believing him.
Thank you all for all your words of wisdom.