It is hard now for you to imagine that it does get easier but it definitely does. At 5 days it is still early. You wanted to stop for a reason keep that in mind. I use the support of AA and this forum to stay sober, over a year now and my life, work life are doing better than ever I don't need to block things out anymore with alcohol.
The need to have 5 vodkas before a meeting is not normal.
You can do this if you want it.
CaiHong