I'm so glad you are seeing the change in yourself!
I had to remind myself, often, that feelings are not dangerous. That it can hurt and you can cry and you can fear, but it's just feelings. They will pass.
I can relate to the anger in your first post about how you are left to clean up the mess. At tough moments, I still feel that from time to time. But I try to remind myself that I have a better opportunity to support my children outside an alcoholic relationship.
You're walking it, friend. Keep walking.