I'm sorry you have to come back man.
For me I'm going through with the divorce and just getting the bits finished on the agreement, after that, she signs, I sign and the courts will process it.
My AW says she hasn't had anything to drink for over a year also but I can't prove it as we have been separated that long. Working through my issues I have come to understand that her drinking or not doesn't really matter any more. I simply don't love her and don't want to be married to her. I have finally learned it's OK for me to put me first.
And yeah I still get some of that crazy running around inside my head even after all this time. Luckily it's not near as loud and I catch myself much quicker and hop off.
PM me if you feel the need to talk off line.
Manly ((((hugs))))
Your friend,