I blacked out a few times in my life...the last one was when I was 32 and at a friends ski chalet for an adults only weekend. We drank way too much - and for me that means a few mixed drinks, I am a cheap date, and I blacked out. My friends told me in the morning that I had showed everyone my "new" tattoo, rattled off some stupid jokes, laughed way too hard, and fell face down on the sleeper sofa, fully dressed. Someone took pity on me and took my boots off.
I wasn't mean, cruel, angry, or abusive. I also don't think I was in a black out period for long, but still... I was my same old goofy self being stupid.
So when my RAH would have black outs - and all of which he denied - and get totally hostile and nasty - I believed it was the real ugly inside rearing its head...uninhibited by the alcohol.
However, what I read here also makes sense. Especially Peter G's description. Maybe we do tend to personalize this kind of stuff too much.
Good for you Grizz for becoming indifferent to it all. Nothing else you can do, short of leaving.