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Old 06-16-2012, 05:11 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Katiekate
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
This is just the typical blameshifting, gaslighting alcoholic denial and it has no merit whatsoever.

It is said to hurt, there is no basis in fact to what he says, if you look at it objectively , which is not easy to do, you will see it so clearly, I spent a long time trying to understand that which simply was not understandable. Alcoholics need chaos, and in order to get it they have to create it.

He slays you, then says he will be civil if you will be civil, really???? It's pretty civil to leave you wife, your kids, your life and run home to mommy , when the going gets tough, the tough go and manipulate mommy, no manning up here.

This will continue, I went no contact , and then resumed contact, the went no contact, and resumed again. I will tell you this, each time I cycled through protecting myself, making myself vunerable, I learned something. I think I am at the end of it, all I feel now is a bit of sadness, I think more for myself for what I allowed myself to endure, the anxiety is gone, the second guessing myself is gone, I know what I did wrong, and I don't need the forgivness of an alcoholic. And all of this just came to light this week. It will take time to muddle through, but you are not the cause of this behavior, you have nothing to feel bad for. These stories we tell and these trials we go through are so similiar, this is validation enough for me. From the minute I hit this forum I would read posts from others and say WOW is that my life, my xa said exactly that too etc etc.... I am not crazy, my life was in chaos because of some elses alchoholism and I let the idea of love , or the idea that he would get it, get in the way of me doing what somewhere deep inside I knew was the right thing to do, remove him from my life completely.

You are in my thoughts and you will come out of this happier and healthier than you can imagine right now. Katie oxoxo
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