Yeah, I agree with the point that this isn't really the forum for addicts to come for advice on how to mend relationships with their loved ones. It seems that only other addicts who have a good amount of recovery behind them would be the right people to give advice on that. And they are on the other boards.
I mean, those of us who were in relationships with addicts, all along, for many years, made our needs clear to our addicts and told them what we needed from them. And they didn't listen, and we are wounded and exhausted and depleted. So when I come to this forum, I really have nothing to give to an addict anymore. I am here for me, and for the other folks who have been hurt by the addicts in their lives.
If an addict in recovery truly cannot see/hear/know how to meet their partner's needs in spite of being told of them over and over, then I believe that they should go to therapy (a psychologist or psychotherapist) as well as to AA to learn how to be a good partner. I think that many addicts never gained mature relationship skills that the rest of us did while we were out there facing life, dealing with things instead of running from them. It is very hard to learn these skills without help, in fact, it's probably impossible.